no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
