I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
