this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
high people should be assigned attendants
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
