i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
