Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I love black thongs
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
they're like a gay fantastic four
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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