I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
