She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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