I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize