So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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