is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
