Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
