They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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