bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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