pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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