Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
