no, he came in my armpit
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
