She's JV to your varsity
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
