I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
