Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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