you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
