One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
