Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
