Can Purell be used as lube?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
