i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
