After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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