His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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