When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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