420 ftw
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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