I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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