This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
