Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
