do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
