I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
tell me about the eggs
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
