grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
