his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My dick has a subreddit
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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