I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I miss vodka workout Fridays
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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