And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
