I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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