Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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