I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
