possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think your dad took our porno
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
