i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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