So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
