I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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