If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
