i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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