I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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