he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
