You're completely useless in the revolution.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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