I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
