I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
