We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize