Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
