white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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