but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
They took my balls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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