Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
