You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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