I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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