he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
