there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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