i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
