I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
