Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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